Monday, 16 April 2012

Top 5 reasons writers shouldn't drink!

Alright readers? We doing okay? Good.
Today, I come bearing a list that underlines the main reasons that writers (Or just people in general), shouldn't drink. That being said, I have no intention of stopping any time soon.
I'm in very familiar territory with a domestically abusive relationship...

The hangovers - Simple enough really, but something that just keeps coming back to bite me in the arse.

The money - As a lightweight, I find it very easy to get fucked and have a good time, so I don't understand WHY I spend so much damn money...
Pro-tip kids, take out as little money as possible and leave your wallet at home!

Talking about your latest book - This is probably just me, but when I tell people what I do, I'm often giggled at, even if people do show interest. The problem in this conversation is that when I'm drunk, I'll talk complete and utter bullshit. I tell people about my book and probably bore them half to death... And odds are, I'll get this great idea for another installment of my literature but forget by the time I've sobered up.

That awkward moment you try and convince people you're not a leech sucking at the crotch of society - Many a horrible moments have stemmed from people having the preconception that writers are: lazy, slobbish and full of themselves.
While this is mostly true, I don't want it shoved in my face everytime! Assholes.

The hangover part II - Mother of god, the hangovers!


Mackan359 said...

You cracked me up with the "domestically abusive relationship..." part!

Really good stuff man, one of the blogs that are actually putting some quality stuff up!

I do kinda see myself in the wallet part.. Not proud of it, but that shit happens. A lot.

Geojour said...

CROTCH SUCKING LEECHES! Ugh! What an awful thing to think about!

Sub-Radar-Mike said...

Don't drink and write, or you'll wake up having completed a series of romance novels that include a fire hydrant as the main character.

Anonymous said...

Awesome post, very funny!

Lava Lamper said...

Mike has the right idea!

Bill Pliskin said...

Lolz, nice post. I like the punch line for #2. Good job!

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