Nasty Cans

“No more... She won’t grace you again.”

Retain what eloquence to the stage of a rehearsed smile,

With a look like the clown from the Simpsons; that limp cigarette ridden smile,

You’re probably just as happy as him too, while you feed her to the lions,

The trail of empty caffeinated cans lead us to believe you’d arrived with the wrong solution.

Think you can hold your own as we hock the remains of her to our friends,

Or will you lose your shape and try to piss over our poorly attended parade?

Although she is still around, we still miss that smell increasingly bitter smell of vanilla,

But we’ll never miss the price you charged us to spend time with her on the playground.

I think it’s time to admit that you were wrong and send her home with us.

She hid away in my garage,

Accompanied by all the beer and my entourage,

Of the mess she’d and profit she’d made,

They came looking for you while I was at school,

In the masses they came and they paid,

For her.

Years went by and the playground swallowed her up,

She became the ghost that only haunted me,

Haunted chalky break-time retreats,

You’ll never feel my lips again.

Maybe I’ll spend some time with one of her hotter sisters?

I miss you vanilla coke.

My whack at some poetry from this years poetry module!
I can be quite fun if you read it in the right light.
Til next time x

Top 5 reasons writers shouldn't drink!

Alright readers? We doing okay? Good.
Today, I come bearing a list that underlines the main reasons that writers (Or just people in general), shouldn't drink. That being said, I have no intention of stopping any time soon.
I'm in very familiar territory with a domestically abusive relationship...

5.

The hangovers - Simple enough really, but something that just keeps coming back to bite me in the arse.

4.

The money - As a lightweight, I find it very easy to get fucked and have a good time, so I don't understand WHY I spend so much damn money...

Pro-tip kids, take out as little money as possible and leave your wallet at home!

3.

Talking about your latest book - This is probably just me, but when I tell people what I do, I'm often giggled at, even if people do show interest. The problem in this conversation is that when I'm drunk, I'll talk complete and utter bullshit. I tell people about my book and probably bore them half to death... And odds are, I'll get this great idea for another installment of my literature but forget by the time I've sobered up.

2.

That awkward moment you try and convince people you're not a leech sucking at the crotch of society - Many a horrible moments have stemmed from people having the preconception that writers are: lazy, slobbish and full of themselves.

While this is mostly true, I don't want it shoved in my face everytime! Assholes.

1.

The hangover part II - Mother of god, the hangovers!

Friday the 13th

Not got much time to post today, so I thought I'd drop off a few gifts for you kids.

A few funny pictures to brighten your Fridays!
Again, sorry for the short post, but I'm sure you guys will love a  few laughs.

'Today'

Here you go kids!
A short little piece that I wrote in class again.

                Today, my granddaughter brought me flowers.

I smile and she talks.

“Remember the music box?”

 How could I ever forget.

“What about that time you bored me half to death with fishing?” We both laugh.

Her voice carries across the room in the gentlest manner possible as she reassures me, “everything will be alright.”

But then, her smile fades and she grips my hand tighter; now it’s time for me to tell her, “Everything will be alright.”

My voice does not carry so well, but she hears it. The heart monitor beeps and boops in a timely fashion; setting a rhythm to the room.

Her head lurches forward a little bit.

With what strength I have backing me, I brush her hair to one side with my free hand. The long trails of yellow hair sit comfortably behind her ear, unmasking her watery eyes.

I smile and stroke the side of her cheek.

Her grip on my hand softens until she lets go and smiles back at me.

The smile fills my heart with a little vitality and joy; enough to tell her again;

“I love you.”

A smile, a genuine smile; it’s been awhile since I’ve seen one of those dressed across her face. I push it a little further and make a joke... She laughs with me; the tears don’t seem so apparent and distressing.

Soon, a man walks in and sits on the edge of my bed, dressed in a decent suit and even more decent shoes. His smile is soft, gentle and full of something I once had; a man I have not seen in many years.

The gentleman puts an arm around the shoulder of the girl; she doesn’t register it, not from him. I tell her that it’s time to go and she drops her head.

Grace kisses my cheek and for a moment I feel alive again, but not more than a moment.

“I love you.” Grace stands up and walks out, waving with one hand and wiping away her tears with the other.

 The smell of perfume drifts through the air of the room, covering the smell of morphine and clean away; things are acceptable now. She and the smell linger in the doorway for a few more seconds, before they exit.

Sat on the edge of my bed, the man moves down towards my side and holds my hand. The world compresses around him, not much else is visible.

My youth stares me in the eyes and looks upon me with happiness and bliss. I say to him;

“We did well.”

He nods and pulls a cigarette from his pocket. I wink and so does he.

Somewhere in the background I can hear a string section performing out. He lights the cigarette with a certain grace only the young at heart possess and with one careful movement, he pops it in his mouth; inhale and exhale.

He hands me one.

With my left over strength, I place it in my mouth... He ignites it.

My lungs draw in the last bit of smoke and it floats over me

“I think this is it for us old boy.”

His hand sits on my shoulder and I exhale.

The strings stop playing.

“It’s been a pleasure.”

Have fun with this wee piece of writting.

Tuesday shares with Lavalamper!

Oh hi guys...

I've decided that every Tuesday from this point on, I'm going to review and share an album that I've been enjoying recently.
Whether this is an old album, something new, or an album from way back, I'm still going to review and share it, because I can and because life needs more music in it!

This week I shall be reviewing and sharing 'Ghinzu' and their album 'Blow'.

Artist - Ghinzu

Album - Blow

Genre - Alt Rock

Date - 2004

Sample - Cockpit Inferno

Ghinzu formed in 1999 in snowy Belgium, I'm sure it's not that snowy and that's beside the point, but that's how I've always imagined Belgium. They're a five piece band with an interesting sound that can probably be heard in a lot of other places, in terms of bands... Muse spring to mind straight away, without the very in your face, almost operatic vocals.

With a sound based, but not totally grounded in a typical rock sound, they've prodcued the album 'Blow'.

'Blow' combines an intresting assortment of sounds from the get-go, with the opening track, also being the title track. The opener is a well paced and gloriously put together eight minute masterpiece. The song also featured on the soundtrack to the movie 'Ex Drummer', which is also pretty sweet, go check it out.

The sound of Ghinzu is a morphing monster that potters around in piano, strings and all out rock and riffage. Tracks like 'Cockpit Inferno', a fast an punchy rock song with sprinkles of electronic elements and finally some classical style piano.

Although the vocals on this album are not exactly powerful, they deliver some riveting lyrics that give you a few real gems of lyrical content. Then again, there are less subtle tracks that just have some hilariously out there lyrics 'Til you faint' comes to mind straight away; with it's repeated chorus and basic song structure, you just can't help but feel as if it's just a raunchier, louder, pop-song.

'Til you faint', leads onto a track that you'd think would go with the theme with the title 'Sweet love', but instead, it takes you into a sweet piano ballad-style-thing, that illuminates the mood of this album from, sketchy, to somewhat heart-felt.

'Sweet love' is real shinner on this album, with great vocals and lots of different elements working together with the twinkly piano.

The song-writing 'Blow' is something that really gleams in this world of typical, verse, chorus, verse, chorus and outro, songs. It gives me faith a plenty in the world of music that makes me believe; there is still great music out there! And originality is not dead.

Songs like 'Mine', 'High Voltage Queen (The Reign Of)' and 'Seaside friends', just emit this sense of great showmanship and a band that really adore making great music for the fans.

Mentioning 'Seaside Friends', this song just sounds like a real festival song... Just sayin'. 

To tie things up though, this album is a real gem that everyone should look into listening to at least once.

If not for the great song construction, do it for the fact that Belgium is awesome! And snowy and has lots of chocolates and stuff!

Hope you have fun with this album, should you look into getting it.

Until next time, always remember...

One life, then you're a mannequin.

Ciao.

Hitman Absolution - Leaked footage

A look at two full plays of the upcoming hitman game!
Quality is not the best in the world, but it gives you a better insight to two of the main styles you can play. The voice acting looks awesome with lots of voyeuristic fun to be had listening to the conversations and general banter between the thugs.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Enjoy the gameplay! It looks pretty decent to say the least, but I'm looking forward to a much better quality video.
What do you guys think?

Top places I've died in Dark Souls (So far)

In celebration of the announcement of Dark Souls on the PC, I thought I would regain you all with the tales of me dying multiple times in this pain in the arse of a game!

For everyone who doesn't know and has clearly been living on Neptune or something; Dark Souls is the second game of the 'Souls' games; I'm not really sure what else to call them haha.

The game itself is also stupid hard at some points, even with all the little hands you can get at the beginning.

1.

Dark Root Basin - A more green area in contrast to Dark Souls' variety of levels and maps and arenas and all sorts! The reason I died here in particular, relates to passing the first fog-gate, where you meet camouflaged snakes, sleeping giants and more vicious tree people! Having the idea in my head that I needed to go through here, I kept struggling and struggling, but to no avail. Later, I discovered I didn't need to go this way... And almost immediately destroyed the disc.

2.

The Depths - A token sewer level that contains a wide array of smelly enemies. Some of which are: Slimes that can suck half your health if you’re not quick enough, poisonous rats and some weird creature that totally fucks me up later! While having poorly levelled my character, I found this area to be an uphill struggle, especially when it came to facing the giant rat in a straight up fight... And totally not hitting him and then hiding in the tunnel.

3.

Blight-town - Dark, dingy, full of more poison, bugs and even an invader; this map was the furthest thing from what I thought it would be. While I didn't die here THAT much until I revisited, to pick up the totally sweet katana that is hidden here. I was trying to find another way out by going back through the depths, only to be cursed by some dick of a monster and return to Blight-Town, with half health. Let the rage begin.

4.

Sen's Fortress - My deaths here were mostly attributed to falling like an idiot after being hit by the swinging blades... The last set of blades are an extra pain in the ass, as you're on a thin beam and you're being shot at by a magician with a freakin' snake head! Get fucked!

5.

Anor Londo - And we return to where I am stuck currently! No, I have not completed the game yet, but this is another place that just keeps grinding my gears... All I need to say is... Archers with big ass arrows, running in their general direction, thin rooftops. Rage ensues.

With no idea how close I am to the end of this game, I think my time of borrowing it, may have to be expanded as the challenge of his game just gets stuck under your skin and you want to power through the agitation to beat it, just so you can stand victorious and brag about it at the pub to all your friends who have no idea what you're talking about!

To read the article about the PC release, click the link here and check it out.

That's all for now children!

Remember, the Drake Sword will only get you so far!

Ciao.